Myself
by LifeChanges
Summary: It is not a person's fault that they are in love with two people but they should choose the second one because if they truly loved the first one, then they would not have fallen for the second one


**Hey everyone. Here is a oneshot from me. I know I have not done anything for my other stories but I have been having problems with writers block and lack of motivation for them. This story came from another story that I read that is totally different but had really inspired me. I hope you like**

SUMMARY:_It is not a person's fault that they are in love with two people but they should choose the second one because if they truly loved the first one, then they would not have fallen for the second on_e

LOGAN's POV

I am just sitting here on this pool bench staring up at the stars that were shining while also looking back to how life in LA has changed me. I used to always be a logical person that never lied unless it was to protect someone else but the past two years have changed that. I came out to this city to support my friends and that is a great reason to be here but now I dont know if it is anymore.

We promised each other to always remain true to ourselves and never let this so call city change who we are. But as I look back at least a few months back, I know I have changed. I am not interested in school anymore and my dream of becoming a doctor is now starting to dim away from my mind. Most of all, I have been lying to everyone and especially myself for selfish reasons. Lying so much that I have developed the skill to become an actor that has surpassed many in this place. The reason for that being obvious just by looking at the red lines that mark my chest.

These marks have become my invisible badge to the world to signal how broken I have become compared to how I was two years ago. These stripes that now define me as what I am both inside and out, a lost soul.

But with my new found ability, I have come to hide my badge from those around me. I am happy and seem content to others when I am truly depressed. In control of myself and looking like the world is great when my mind and my heart are all in chaos. I have become one of the great deceivers and the marks that I have come to hide just represent more of how different I have become.

I keep looking at the clear star filled sky, then turn my gaze to around my surroundings. The pool area was deserted and I was the only one in the area which I am thankful for. This place was where I needed to be. It being where all the memories I have been thinking of are the strongest. And when I do one last sweep of the place, my eyes lands on one people that has come to be locked away in them, come through the door. One of the two people that has come to be why I am doing what I am doing. She looked at me and smiled.

"Logan!" I remember a time when the smile used to be different "Why did you ask me to come out here?"

I looked up at her and tried to bring out my new acquired skills in front of her. "Hey Camille! Do you mind if we just sit here for a while. This place has a lot of memories for me." She just smile even more and sat in my lap and I wrapped my arms around her to follow along with the script.

After a few moments I let out a breath and began to talk. "Camille, I need to talk to you and I think it is really important. It has to do with our relationship." She got out of my lap to sit across from me so she could face me. On her face is confusion instead of the smile I have come to know.

"What about our relationship, Honey?"

" You remember how I told you that my father left my mom when I was young and I resented him for it." She nodded and her expression started to become more worried. I kept trying to keep the mask of positivity on. "My mom never wanted me to love my father and so she sat me down and told me something. ' _It is not a person's fault that they are in love with two people but they should choose the second one because if they truly loved the first one, then they would not have fallen for the second on.' _She told me that I will learn to understand that when I get older." I did not look at Camille because the mask was now falling to pieces.

"Logan, ar..are you trying to tell me th..that you..." I cut her off before she could ask the question. "Do you know what this exact spot is." I had on a far off look as I started to remember them and by the looks of it, so was Camille as a smile was back on her face.

"This is where we first officially met. Where we would talk to each other and spot where you first asked me out at this exact time. The spot where you first kissed me. This is the spots where we had all our firsts and most memorable times together."

"Camille." She looked at me with her eyes shining. "I have now come to understand what my mom meant and so wanted to add one last thing to this place." Camille looked like she was about to cry so I enveloped her into my arms to at least give us both strength.

"This is the place where everything started and I feel that it should be the place where it all ends. I am sorry for this Camille." I felt my shirt becoming damp but I knew that it was going to be okay. I heard her asking why so I pulled back from the embrace and had her look into my eyes. That was when everything came crashing down and my face finally showed how sad I was. Which caught her attention and stopped her from crying.

"Logan, its okay, just tell me what is wrong and I will try to fix things." She tried to rub my arm but now that my acting dropped I could not take it anymore and backed away.

"No you can't Camille. My mothers saying does not apply to me but you!" I was starting to become hysterical with my emotions becoming wild. "I see the way you are with James. How you stare at him at times, the way you hug him and take small whiffs of his smell. For GODs sake, I know you have been lying to me and going to places with him. You LOVE him and understand that because of my mom." I was starting to calm down with that last line and got up from my spot while she remained where she was at with a mix of shock and sadness.

"Log... Logan." She was now crying again. "I love you bu..but I also have fe...elings for James as well. Pl...plesase, do...nt b.." I cut her off again.

"I cant do this anymore. I have changed because of you, the guys and this city. Changed top a person that I do not recognized and I need to find myself. I am sorry for this but I know you can get over this. I dont blame you for anything. I am just thankful for the time we did have with each other and that you actually loved me." She gave a weak smile at me even though she still had tears running down her face.

"So this is goodbye Camille." I walked straight away from there quickly and saying goodbye to it. I made my way through the lobby grabbing the bag that I put behind the front desk. I have changed so much that I dont even think that my friends matter to me anymore because I am leaving them without a good bye.

As I am stepping out the front door, I am saying goodbye to this place. As I board the plane I am saying good bye to this city. And goodbye to the memories but not to my friends. Because I dont know if this changed me counts them as friends. Which makes me sad and causes a tear to fall down my face and hit my chest. Hopefully I can find my true self and also say goodbye to this changed me.

**REVIEW PLEASE. **


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